Behavior: Why challenging personalities attract us

Written by Rhodos in Saturday, April 28th 2007 under Health

As someone who tries to understand both sides of the argument, it came as shock to my ego to just finally understand why some people attempt to change others. Guys have always wondered what attracts some women to guys with rough exteriors and personalities. This stereo type is usually referred to the “rebel” personality. We aren’t talking about the criminally bad type, but the type you would consider a bit rough around the edges.

The aspect of not following the crowd seems unique and different. We all strive to differentiate ourselves from the masses. We may share the same first or last name, but we are completely different in every other way. The difference is what gets us noticed.

So, why are some interested in the “troubled” ones then? Maybe this can be explained in the fact we know we can change the less desirable qualities we see in the other. Maybe it’s because we see redeeming qualities in that other person we wish to emulate in ourselves. For whatever reason there are people that are drawn to that aspect in others for all the right and wrong reasons.

In many ways it’s near impossible to change someone. It takes determination and hard work to change behaviors in an individual. In the end it’s very unlikely you’ll change anything. If you looked at it from the other person’s perspective, would you want people trying to change you?

On the positive side, for the right reasons you might like the results. It’s well known oil does not mix with water, as with people with opposite personalities, but with the right outlook they do mix. Opposites do find harmony, just ask any couple with a dog and cat. If you can live with all the quirks of the other person, as long as their habits don’t hurt either of them, there shouldn’t be any reason why it shouldn’t work out.

Opposites find each other just as easily as like minded people. Searching isn’t required as you’ll find meeting people is a simple as walking out the door. If you remember to follow all the right reasons, there shouldn’t be a reason you won’t find the right person.